Maybe I shouldn’t go back this time.

imageAnd if it doesn’t work out with brown-eyes, it’s fine. You went outside of your comfort zone and learned something. It was a new experience. It might of not felt like home, but you’re better prepared for when you find home. And when you do find home, you’ll never question it.

I really thought this would be it. I wanted to marry him. But I’m just grateful we ended on good terms and our last two weeks together were good memories. I waited 2 years for it to get better. It did but I don’t know. It’s just never stable and never secure.

I just want to find home. Somewhere I’m wanted and loved  and where I can put my heart and soul. Please be out there waiting for me. Honestly, I just want to wholeheartedly love someone and have it returned. We can just love each other and our kids and Nathan and our friends and family. Travel together. Show off each other proudly to the world. Never give up on each other. And not just throw it away when its broken. As long as we want and love each other, for us to work hard to fix it.

I just want a wonderful, stable home.



Maybe I shouldn’t go back this time.

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