DISHEVELED

di·shev·eled
dəˈSHevəld/
adjective
  1. (of a person’s hair, clothes, or appearance) untidy; disordered.

My room is a reflection of my mind. Unfortunately, my room looks likes shit, which transcends into my life. My life isn’t “shit”, but I need to be doing better.

This is my string of lazy thoughts to try to start a habit of recording my day. Maybe as I grow into better habits, I’ll grow more articulate. Right now, I’m just a loner needing to vent and maybe one last good cry over the matter.

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. Mentally. He’s a good man. He’s not a bad person nor did he do anything majorly wrong. I do love him, and there’s no one else I want. No one else- but myself.

Recently, I came to terms with the idea that I am okay with being Robin. I’ve brought myself to tears in the past repeating, “I’m BATMAN. I don’t want to be Robin. I refuse to be Robin. I am not Robin.”

Well, I’m going to be BATMAN. Maybe I’m doing him a favor to leave him. I can’t be what he wants. I don’t want to be a housewife. I’m not good at these girl things. I’ve tried. I was able to keep it up for awhile, but its not who I am. And truthfully, I am unhappy.

I said it.

I’m tired of waiting around for him. I know it will pay off in the end, but that’s not what I’m looking for.

Will I end up really breaking up with him? Probably not. But I need to figure this out. I’m just so angry and annoyed with him that I’m not thinking straight.

I am unhappy.

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DISHEVELED

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